Why I Write

Spoiler: It’s not for money

Ironically, here’s an entry I had almost decided not to post publicly because I think it’s poorly written. To push passed that self-judgement, here it is!

I’ve intermittently kept journals, both on paper and electronically. Unless I’ve forgotten an earlier time, I started journaling in college, as my wife and I had a long distance relationship for a while. It helped me communicate experiences and thoughts I was having while away from her.

As a child, I would write handwritten letters to my sister before she would undergo surgeries.

Of course, there were the many papers I wrote while in school. English class essays flowed relatively easily for me.

Writing has been easier for me, especially when trying to communicate to others about feelings or more complex thoughts I had. It was always cathartic. People often aren’t good listeners. They don’t take in the full experience of the conversation or interaction. They are the same ones that tell the same story over and over. Some people talk over me, dismiss my words, interrupt. I’m often quiet. Actively listening to others is fun for me. It’s great that people lay their cards on the table and open up. It helps relationships form. It also helped my career. I was good at documenting. People share a lot verbally. I share more on paper.

These days, I’m journaling privately almost every morning when I wake up. At minimum, I write how I think I slept and how I feel. Then, I check what my sleep tracker shows and include a screenshot. Sometimes the data surprises me. Typing a daily journal entry to sleeping / waking up has helped build the habit. I also don’t apply judgement for the shortness of the entries.

I’m also posting long-form entries publicly, with hope that the information adds value to others.

I’ve been surprised and relieved that picking my writing habit back up has proven to be easy and not much impact has been observed from the accident for typing. The only exception is the fatigue that sets in near the afternoon. I need to write earlier in the day. I do my reading in the morning and early afternoons, as well. After that, I usually do less demanding tasks: resting, TV and gaming. Outside work is usually done in the evenings when it’s cooler.

Words flow steadily while typing. At least, as steady as it had been. Depending on where I type, it can be taxing on the neck and shoulders, so I’ve built a mountain of pillows and iPad stands to type long-form in bed. It’s my most comfortable spot because I can do various angles and positions. Having tons of pillows helps prop me in less painful positions.

Writing has has helped me process thoughts and feelings. I’m sure it’s kept me out of therapy. So far, anyway!

I’m hopeful that writing is helping to repair some of the the good ‘ole brain and will strengthen my inner voice, which is still like speaking to Max Headroom at times.

An annoying writing challenge for me seems to be memory, mostly forgetting what I was saying and going off on a tangent. Outlining has helped.

In the end, my writing is a release. It may help others. It definitely helps me.